From Outcast to Idol to Intimacy
Monica Bellucci was called "the devil's child."
Her father is of Iranian descent and this was a source of racism with the whole small town she grew up in criticizing them and no one being friends with little Monica.
Then when she came of age she was hated for her beauty.
Girls beat her up in the bathroom.
One day students heated a coin to put on her face to scar her but they did not succeed.
Even a teacher told her when she got an answer right she was just lucky as beautiful girls don’t need to be smart.
If she got the answer wrong they said something about her being dumb for being beautiful.
She learned that “the mediocre hate beauty.” “Everything can be forgiven but beauty.”
But she did become wanted by the boys by age 14.
These details and more are from an interview with her father and mother:
"EXCLUSIVE - Never-before-seen pictures of world's oldest Bond girl Monica Bellucci, 50, who was so beautiful as a child that waitresses gave her free food." Daily Mail, December 10 2014,
which I now quote at length:
“Her beauty was utterly captivating even then. Complete strangers propositioned her with offers of millions of lira and a new life abroad, friends say.
Waiters and waitresses at restaurants offered her the opportunity to eat for free. Teachers at school lost concentration – one presented her parents with a sketch he had done of her while supposedly teaching her in class.
But such beauty in a small town was not always a blessing. Monica at one point became reclusive because the attention was overwhelming, her father remembers.
'All the other kids would go and hang around in the piazza after school, as teenagers do. But Monica would hide away, taking a detour through the backstreets and then coming straight home.
'One day I asked her why she didn't want to be in the square with the others and she said: "When I go in the piazza everyone looks at me. The men look at me. The women look at me. All the kids from school. I feel ashamed".'
Her father continued: 'I told her "You need to get used to it. Looking like you everyone is going to stare at you for the rest of your life. You have to be strong." From that day she blossomed. She became strong'.
These early words of wisdom boosted her self-assurance and she was soon 'discovered' by a local hairdresser who she met when she hitched a lift off him into town.
Piero Montanucci, who is a still a friend today, says Monica 'had total self confidence' from their first shoots. He released pictures which he said had never been seen before to show how her natural beauty is unchanged.”
“Half the town was in love with her, friends say. But Monica herself has said she found it annoying. She told an Italian newspaper: 'I was born in a provincial town.
'There any beautiful girl elicits a morbid curiosity just for existing. It was annoying. If you spoke to anyone people said you had gone to bed with them. For the men you are an object, for the women a whore.”
End of quoting article.
She was actually studying visual arts and cinema on her own as her parents took her to the movies. But she had no one else to talk to until she started doing modeling to earn money to go to law school.
Her first boyfriend from high school ended up putting her down for going to college to study law and would jeer at her on campus.
She resisted going into modeling full time perhaps because she did not know how to handle beauty. “Beauty is a horse you need to learn to ride.” ‘Beauty is like a Ferrari you need to learn to drive.’
Bellucci started modeling early but did not make it full time until later and did make it until the age of 24. Perhaps it’s because she did not do favors, —I don’t know if it was as corrupt in Italy as the USA. But then she went straight to the top when her beauty was recognized for her face and the unique warmth of its feminine qualities.
Her mother must have been a superstar.
She then soon used modeling as way to get into acting to express herself more fully in the visual arts. There she encountered the same “you must be stupid if you are beautiful” including at first from her future husband, Vincent Cassel. Today models say they face the same bias.
Bellucci and Cassel developed a good working relationship with chemistry on screen from the romance that followed. Other than that she said they had nothing in common and she does not know why she ended up with him. She refused to marry him repeatedly and then eventually gave in on a whim after he had a car accident from getting drunk because they had broken up. Even when they got married she did not want to live with him “to avoid family routine” and sometimes only saw 2-3 times a month.
Being available so little she did not want to restrict him from seeing other women. “Nobody owns anyone,” she said. We don’t know if she exercises the same options or more wanted to get way from everyone as she often did, going to places like London where everyone would leave her alone. This seem secure and non jealous, or maybe she just was not in love with him as he was obsessed with her. For him it was torture as he was very jealous and protective. Before being saved i remember being with women like this and it was not worth it.
She was extremely independent but this seems not to be a simple case of feminist obstinacy or being a spoiled model. By all accounts Cassel was not her equal as an adult as he had a violent temper and threatened people with violence.
“Vincent is a nervous actor. Even hysterical. Something is always wrong. When plans don’t go his way he gets angry and screams.”
That is not trustable and draining to be around. I call it being a baby man having a temper tantrum. I can see why she would want to keep a distance.
Bellucci is known as the opposite: remains calm, can roll with anything,
Their relationship is more based on work and Bellucci’s whole life revolved around work that has been her means of maintaining her independence.
At age 39 for her they decided to have kids with the first born around 2004.
Having 2 girls was the best thing that happened to Monica. She said it made her less self centered as she no longer came first. I saw the love in her eyes increase after having kids and I considered her more beautiful then, and not even trustable before that.
She was voted in one poll as the most beautiful woman in the world at age 43 and I agree.
They lived together for the most stable part of their marriage until they broke up on 2013, 17 years total together that people in their world say is a long time. They no longer needed each other and there was no reason to be together.
They still hung out with the kids and Monica welcomed Vincent’s new young wife that was even friends with her daughter, Deva.
After divorce at age 49 she “was left alone for the first time” since the age of 14 and could start to figure out who she was.
This is the problem of the beauty curse, too much attention, which is completely foreign to most men who don’t get enough. Men are on the salivating dog end of the too much attention of the women in a frustrating game of lust and idolization.
So her whole life has been, “Oh you’re so beautiful, do this and that for us to turn us on.”
Gimme, gimme, gimmne, all day long. I know what that feels like for other reasons.
How many people asked how she was doing with her loneliness or talked to her about healing? They believe the idol has everything and they want something from the idol. Bellucci even commented on the risk of celebrities becoming the reflection back to them from others. This is where a spouse should provide a different reference point based on intimacy of seeing someone more deeply.
The basic masculine feminine dynamic involves a man leading in some respects—but men have to be qualified. Many men whine today about being a nice guy so why does she date the jerk? But that’s not leading. Women often don’t know why they are attracted to some men until they meet someone with real strength and intimacy so a woman knows what it is and he can call out her unconscious stuff and any attempt to test or undermine his resolve in doing what’s right.
I can explain what I do would in with a woman like this. In reality this would evolve out of conversations based on listening first, but I will just jump into with the information I have.
Leading in Healing. What jumps out is her feelings of loneliness and wanting to be alone she mentioned often. That seems to be the default state from her childhood facing racism. In inner healing and deliverance that problem can be known as an “orphan spirit” that pertains here to the entire community, not her parents.
She spoke most about being treated as stupid girl and the Italian context that is not like America.
The way I healed finally of everything from child hood to demons was a 5.5 hour prayer session with three people who can hear God giving them the answers as they talk to me. Then everything started to change. This is working with the Holy Spirit of Jesus, not “religion” that she opposes because that’s all she knows. Maybe the Catholics on the set of “The Passion” could not explain it to her or pray for her to help her feel the Holy Spirit.
Leading in Health. Since nutrition is my profession I can see what she is missing in the 5 days of different meals she posted. She says she doesn’t not want to restrict her diet but she is actually restricting the most important thing: fat with her low fat items. Cholesterol in animal fat is the most important nutrient for skin, hormones, and overall energy as part of the electrical network of the body that drives circulation and mitochondria. See my website Primal Rejuvenation for explanations.
My approach for a sensual eater like Monica is to discover new foods that make her feel better, not to start with restrictions. Sensual eating is taken to a new level of instinctual eating in which your brain rewards you for what is good for you and gradually lose interest in mere taste without as much nutritional value.
One of greatest rewards is a sex drive. It’s good for marriage to keep it going. It’s good for monogamy because you just can’t stop.
As we age it is absolutely necessary to avoid pain, fatigue, and lagging sex drive. It is worth it to find freedom through discipline with eating.
Leading in Goofiness. Being a wordsmith I can make up funny words, imitations, teasing, characters, and hand dances to go with the words. This carries over into sexual play.
When these contributions are received it is leading. It is establishing credibility through skill and love to earn trust and her following. This is an alternative to resistance, arguing, competition, criticism, contempt, boredom.
These are hypothetical examples. If I ever actually met her I would attempt to interest her in a project exploring these kinds of role to express feminine love further and to clarify masculine roles.
I think it’s possible to do something much deeper than has been done, very elaborate and sophisticated.
I want to see Monica deliver her great gifts to the world and thereby help break curses of beauty and idolization on all of us by showing that beauty is love. There is little leadership within the church on this so that's why I'm reaching out to secular sources and in my previous article I even prayed for her to get saved: “Feminine Love with Monica Bellucci: Wearing her Heart on her Face.”
She expresses more fully a vision of beauty as feminine love in action and words that the world badly needs, including denouncing man-hating, as many Christians still do as feminists in fact.. Few people understand how deep her vision is, maybe not even her since it has probably never been fully reflected back to her, so I did that in my first article,’
Bellucci has not had an equal counter-part in man for her to more full be in her feminine through a masculine and feminine dynamic in which a man can lead and help in areas where a woman or as an individual she can’t do it all herself. There is not enough discussion about what men need to do.
The “beauty curse” I explained in “Breaking the Curse of Female Beauty on Women and Men.”
There are several parts to this, including how men can escape the traps of desire and lust.
If you want to understand the childhood that shaped her you can watch the biography video of her whole life in comments. The story that is so extreme it left me aghast and uncomprehending and I had to watch it repeatedly. This seems to have left her with a lifetime feeling of aloneness and perhaps depression beneath her shyness.
This is part of my work as a sociologist on relationships and as a creator of love.
Her father is of Iranian descent and this was a source of racism with the whole small town she grew up in criticizing them and no one being friends with little Monica.
Then when she came of age she was hated for her beauty.
Girls beat her up in the bathroom.
One day students heated a coin to put on her face to scar her but they did not succeed.
Even a teacher told her when she got an answer right she was just lucky as beautiful girls don’t need to be smart.
If she got the answer wrong they said something about her being dumb for being beautiful.
She learned that “the mediocre hate beauty.” “Everything can be forgiven but beauty.”
But she did become wanted by the boys by age 14.
These details and more are from an interview with her father and mother:
"EXCLUSIVE - Never-before-seen pictures of world's oldest Bond girl Monica Bellucci, 50, who was so beautiful as a child that waitresses gave her free food." Daily Mail, December 10 2014,
which I now quote at length:
“Her beauty was utterly captivating even then. Complete strangers propositioned her with offers of millions of lira and a new life abroad, friends say.
Waiters and waitresses at restaurants offered her the opportunity to eat for free. Teachers at school lost concentration – one presented her parents with a sketch he had done of her while supposedly teaching her in class.
But such beauty in a small town was not always a blessing. Monica at one point became reclusive because the attention was overwhelming, her father remembers.
'All the other kids would go and hang around in the piazza after school, as teenagers do. But Monica would hide away, taking a detour through the backstreets and then coming straight home.
'One day I asked her why she didn't want to be in the square with the others and she said: "When I go in the piazza everyone looks at me. The men look at me. The women look at me. All the kids from school. I feel ashamed".'
Her father continued: 'I told her "You need to get used to it. Looking like you everyone is going to stare at you for the rest of your life. You have to be strong." From that day she blossomed. She became strong'.
These early words of wisdom boosted her self-assurance and she was soon 'discovered' by a local hairdresser who she met when she hitched a lift off him into town.
Piero Montanucci, who is a still a friend today, says Monica 'had total self confidence' from their first shoots. He released pictures which he said had never been seen before to show how her natural beauty is unchanged.”
“Half the town was in love with her, friends say. But Monica herself has said she found it annoying. She told an Italian newspaper: 'I was born in a provincial town.
'There any beautiful girl elicits a morbid curiosity just for existing. It was annoying. If you spoke to anyone people said you had gone to bed with them. For the men you are an object, for the women a whore.”
End of quoting article.
She was actually studying visual arts and cinema on her own as her parents took her to the movies. But she had no one else to talk to until she started doing modeling to earn money to go to law school.
Her first boyfriend from high school ended up putting her down for going to college to study law and would jeer at her on campus.
She resisted going into modeling full time perhaps because she did not know how to handle beauty. “Beauty is a horse you need to learn to ride.” ‘Beauty is like a Ferrari you need to learn to drive.’
Bellucci started modeling early but did not make it full time until later and did make it until the age of 24. Perhaps it’s because she did not do favors, —I don’t know if it was as corrupt in Italy as the USA. But then she went straight to the top when her beauty was recognized for her face and the unique warmth of its feminine qualities.
Her mother must have been a superstar.
She then soon used modeling as way to get into acting to express herself more fully in the visual arts. There she encountered the same “you must be stupid if you are beautiful” including at first from her future husband, Vincent Cassel. Today models say they face the same bias.
Bellucci and Cassel developed a good working relationship with chemistry on screen from the romance that followed. Other than that she said they had nothing in common and she does not know why she ended up with him. She refused to marry him repeatedly and then eventually gave in on a whim after he had a car accident from getting drunk because they had broken up. Even when they got married she did not want to live with him “to avoid family routine” and sometimes only saw 2-3 times a month.
Being available so little she did not want to restrict him from seeing other women. “Nobody owns anyone,” she said. We don’t know if she exercises the same options or more wanted to get way from everyone as she often did, going to places like London where everyone would leave her alone. This seem secure and non jealous, or maybe she just was not in love with him as he was obsessed with her. For him it was torture as he was very jealous and protective. Before being saved i remember being with women like this and it was not worth it.
She was extremely independent but this seems not to be a simple case of feminist obstinacy or being a spoiled model. By all accounts Cassel was not her equal as an adult as he had a violent temper and threatened people with violence.
“Vincent is a nervous actor. Even hysterical. Something is always wrong. When plans don’t go his way he gets angry and screams.”
That is not trustable and draining to be around. I call it being a baby man having a temper tantrum. I can see why she would want to keep a distance.
Bellucci is known as the opposite: remains calm, can roll with anything,
Their relationship is more based on work and Bellucci’s whole life revolved around work that has been her means of maintaining her independence.
At age 39 for her they decided to have kids with the first born around 2004.
Having 2 girls was the best thing that happened to Monica. She said it made her less self centered as she no longer came first. I saw the love in her eyes increase after having kids and I considered her more beautiful then, and not even trustable before that.
She was voted in one poll as the most beautiful woman in the world at age 43 and I agree.
They lived together for the most stable part of their marriage until they broke up on 2013, 17 years total together that people in their world say is a long time. They no longer needed each other and there was no reason to be together.
They still hung out with the kids and Monica welcomed Vincent’s new young wife that was even friends with her daughter, Deva.
After divorce at age 49 she “was left alone for the first time” since the age of 14 and could start to figure out who she was.
This is the problem of the beauty curse, too much attention, which is completely foreign to most men who don’t get enough. Men are on the salivating dog end of the too much attention of the women in a frustrating game of lust and idolization.
So her whole life has been, “Oh you’re so beautiful, do this and that for us to turn us on.”
Gimme, gimme, gimmne, all day long. I know what that feels like for other reasons.
How many people asked how she was doing with her loneliness or talked to her about healing? They believe the idol has everything and they want something from the idol. Bellucci even commented on the risk of celebrities becoming the reflection back to them from others. This is where a spouse should provide a different reference point based on intimacy of seeing someone more deeply.
The basic masculine feminine dynamic involves a man leading in some respects—but men have to be qualified. Many men whine today about being a nice guy so why does she date the jerk? But that’s not leading. Women often don’t know why they are attracted to some men until they meet someone with real strength and intimacy so a woman knows what it is and he can call out her unconscious stuff and any attempt to test or undermine his resolve in doing what’s right.
I can explain what I do would in with a woman like this. In reality this would evolve out of conversations based on listening first, but I will just jump into with the information I have.
Leading in Healing. What jumps out is her feelings of loneliness and wanting to be alone she mentioned often. That seems to be the default state from her childhood facing racism. In inner healing and deliverance that problem can be known as an “orphan spirit” that pertains here to the entire community, not her parents.
She spoke most about being treated as stupid girl and the Italian context that is not like America.
The way I healed finally of everything from child hood to demons was a 5.5 hour prayer session with three people who can hear God giving them the answers as they talk to me. Then everything started to change. This is working with the Holy Spirit of Jesus, not “religion” that she opposes because that’s all she knows. Maybe the Catholics on the set of “The Passion” could not explain it to her or pray for her to help her feel the Holy Spirit.
Leading in Health. Since nutrition is my profession I can see what she is missing in the 5 days of different meals she posted. She says she doesn’t not want to restrict her diet but she is actually restricting the most important thing: fat with her low fat items. Cholesterol in animal fat is the most important nutrient for skin, hormones, and overall energy as part of the electrical network of the body that drives circulation and mitochondria. See my website Primal Rejuvenation for explanations.
My approach for a sensual eater like Monica is to discover new foods that make her feel better, not to start with restrictions. Sensual eating is taken to a new level of instinctual eating in which your brain rewards you for what is good for you and gradually lose interest in mere taste without as much nutritional value.
One of greatest rewards is a sex drive. It’s good for marriage to keep it going. It’s good for monogamy because you just can’t stop.
As we age it is absolutely necessary to avoid pain, fatigue, and lagging sex drive. It is worth it to find freedom through discipline with eating.
Leading in Goofiness. Being a wordsmith I can make up funny words, imitations, teasing, characters, and hand dances to go with the words. This carries over into sexual play.
When these contributions are received it is leading. It is establishing credibility through skill and love to earn trust and her following. This is an alternative to resistance, arguing, competition, criticism, contempt, boredom.
These are hypothetical examples. If I ever actually met her I would attempt to interest her in a project exploring these kinds of role to express feminine love further and to clarify masculine roles.
I think it’s possible to do something much deeper than has been done, very elaborate and sophisticated.
I want to see Monica deliver her great gifts to the world and thereby help break curses of beauty and idolization on all of us by showing that beauty is love. There is little leadership within the church on this so that's why I'm reaching out to secular sources and in my previous article I even prayed for her to get saved: “Feminine Love with Monica Bellucci: Wearing her Heart on her Face.”
She expresses more fully a vision of beauty as feminine love in action and words that the world badly needs, including denouncing man-hating, as many Christians still do as feminists in fact.. Few people understand how deep her vision is, maybe not even her since it has probably never been fully reflected back to her, so I did that in my first article,’
Bellucci has not had an equal counter-part in man for her to more full be in her feminine through a masculine and feminine dynamic in which a man can lead and help in areas where a woman or as an individual she can’t do it all herself. There is not enough discussion about what men need to do.
The “beauty curse” I explained in “Breaking the Curse of Female Beauty on Women and Men.”
There are several parts to this, including how men can escape the traps of desire and lust.
If you want to understand the childhood that shaped her you can watch the biography video of her whole life in comments. The story that is so extreme it left me aghast and uncomprehending and I had to watch it repeatedly. This seems to have left her with a lifetime feeling of aloneness and perhaps depression beneath her shyness.
This is part of my work as a sociologist on relationships and as a creator of love.
