My Relationship History

Offering myself as coach for men, or women, in dating and marriage requires some kind of resume of experience. So  this is my experience, key things I learned and my current values are stated at the end. 

But Why Am I Single? 
Few people can say why they are single, they tell themselves all kinds of stories. 
I will give you my story and see what you think. 

First, being single can be more succesful than being stuck in the typical soulless, sexless marriage with the same arguments or shut-down points that never got resolved. 
I know how to have boundaries and get out of situations. 

My first major relationship was in college with an older French woman. She was intellectually interesting. 4 years. 

Second was my wife of Indian origin born in the USA. We were highly compatible intellectually and going through the difficulties of graduate school together. Her father was a major influence on the direction of my research. I got sick with chronic fatique at this time and it took a long time to complete my dissertation and be active in academic life so my career plans fell through as well as a huge strain on our marriage.  I had not learned masculine leadershp and she was in masculine career mode a lot. She was more reasonable than most women would be in that situation. 

After that I entered dating with it's brutal realities of rejection and every little thing being criticised by low quality women. It's not that i wasn't "serious." How could I be serious with women who were not serious about anything intellectually, politically, or health wise? 
So i took the attitude of just pursuing sex unless something more substantial was offered.

I was learning about about masculine and feminine roles and authentic communication. So a lot of deeper work was being done at the same time. 

It took a long time to build confidence especially in the San Francisco bay area, which is highly feminist and negative toward men in ways that were just surreal.  I learned quickly to identify and approach foreign women who came here recently. They were a whole other world. 

I remember hanging out with guy and showing him how I could just walk up to a girl I found attractive and started talking to her. He thought it was so far out like it was not even possible. 
It's a great skill and freedom to have to just approach a stranger and being able to read signs and feel energy to make it safe. 

I had lots of hookups and some unmentionable wild encounters. 
I had several short term relationships: a Korean, a Japanese, and a very young American girl who had approached me first online and invited herself to my house for a first date, which was also her first time. The next day she said all the colors looked brighter. 

In those days it was all about physical pleasure and dating young women was the physical exhilartion that many men sought. It takes a lot of skill and it's not easy. I don't care what offended and jealous older women think, i don't need a lecture. 
Emotionally it's frustrating because they can't be a steady nurturing partner. 

My third relationship was with a Chinese Malyasian woman nearer  my age. 5 years and the best relationship I had. She was feminine and there wasn't much arguing. I had learned masculine and feminine polarity. However, there was a lack of things in common intellectually and I had not found my purpose to make a woman my helper for it all to make sense. 

I have not had both: feminine woman with similar intellectual interests. Academically trained career women are more like to be argumentative and in their masculine. Now my interests are more compatible with feminine women: faith and health so I am hopeful in my search for a wife. 

I moved to Michigan, which lacks single foreign women. Sometimes I went to the Japanese grocery store just to have short friendly chats with Japanese women who were married just to feel like a human being again with their kindness and warmth. 
I sat down and had tea with one and we had the same conversation I've had with many Asian women who us the same words to describe the average American women: selfish, entitled, angry and often too fat. We shared the perception that these American women probably can never understand.

Since getting saved in 2020, that means following Jesus, I have tried churches but it's still the same angry women but trying harder to be nice. The gloves come off as soon as you talk about Biblical marriage and the warnings aganist women being controling. If you want to make enemies there just mention the bible's most repeated instruction to wives: sumbit to  your husband. They will say it does not really say that with all kinds of false doctrines. Women who uphold the bible get viciously attacked, too. Nobody cares as most churches are run by Jezebel--that's a controling female spirit named after the evil queen of Israel Jezebel. The men are all Ahabs afraid to say anything, named after the king that Jezebel lead around by the balls. 

Even the churches that aren't that bad don't put any emphasis on fixing marriages, dating, and supporting young men--the future of church leadership. 

Christian dating is celibate until married. That was the most jarring fact I faced. I understand now the advantages of waiting for sex to get to know someone's emotional depth before you getting emotionally hooked. 
There's plenty of intimacy without sex. In-to-me-see. It's about seeing the other person wholly not just for pleasure that blinds you. Hugs and snuggle are acceptable if you have the discipline. 

I have no fear of "the friend zone." I want to make women friends that are really friends. 
I have learned to focus on the feminine radiance of women that is nourishing even among friends. It's what i need to see in a wife. I have written about this extensively with pictures and videos. 

With God's love this is more possible. I realize that if I cheat I will lose his guidance in my science, carreer, and other things like the ability to perform / receive miracles through him like fixing my care with prayer that I have done about 5 times. 
I feel the love for a woman grow inside me. My love deepens. 

So I know how to feel the feminine radiance of women. 
I can also often see the Holy Spirit in the eyes of believers just in their pictures. 
I am open to anyone, but the most feminine women are foreign or have a strong influence of another culture like Asian, Latina, and Arab. 

I don't care if some women are offended. If my criticisms don't apply to you then you shouldn't be offended. Anyone who takes it personally does not care about me. People who have never supported me showing up to criticise me, absurd. 

I'm not going to discuss by strategy in detail. 
This is my general orientation for men I might help. 
I could help women, too, but it's hard to write for both audiences at the same time and not many women are receptive to what I have posted lately; there have been many personal attacks. 

One big relief is to not waste time chasing women--especially for sex. 
I expect interest to be reciprocated immediately. That's also easier when I, too, am friend zoning everyone at first. If they want to get to know me they can interact with my public presence as as writer on social media: on health, relationships, faith, and other personal projects. 
Read my website section on LOVE at Primal Rejuvenation.